C. S. Lewis and (Enlightened) Selfishness

Another excerpt from my book, The Time for Yes, on discernment...

"I would not know how to advise a man how to write. It is a matter of talent

and interest. I believe he must be strongly moved if he is to become a writer. Writing is like a ‘lust,’ or like ‘scratching when you itch.’ Writing comes as a result of a very strong impulse, and when it does come, I for one must get it out." C. S. Lewis in a 1963 interview

Doesn’t “finding your passion” and looking for "flow" (as I've written in recent posts) seem just a little too selfish and therefore illegitimate as a way of directing our lives? 

Not necessarily. I have learned from a distinction from the Christian writer and Oxford literary scholar, C.S. Lewis. He delineated an important distinction: being selfish and self-centered. Finding what we are called to do is, in a certain sense, selfish—we love doing it and therefore we find great joy—but entirely not self-centered—when we do what we love, we forget ourselves as we delight in the activity itself.

      
Lewis writes in comparing selfishness with self-centeredness.

"One of the happiest men and most pleasant companions I have ever known was intensely selfish. On the other hand I have known people capable of real sacrifice whose lives were nevertheless a misery to themselves and to others, because self-concern and self-pity filled all their thoughts. On the other hand I have known people capable of real sacrifice whose lives were nevertheless a misery to themselves and to others, because self-concern and self-pity filled all their thoughts. Either condition will destroy the soul in the end. But till the end, give me the man who takes the best of everything (even at my expense) and then talks of other things, rather than the man who serves me and talks of himself, and whose very kindnesses are a continual reproach, a continual demand for pity, gratitude, and admiration." C. S. Lewis

As Lewis says, either of the two will destroy the soul in the end. So I’m proposing a form of enlightened selfishness--or, as some friends of mine prefer, enlightened self-interest.  I’m asking us to be more directed toward what we like because there we have the power to become self-forgetful and even other-directed. We just do what we enjoy doing, where we find “flow”—we actually forget ourselves. And therefore we simply cannot be self-centered.

      
(If you’re philosophically minded you’re welcome to call this “the hedonistic paradox.” Search for happiness and you won’t find it. Do what you enjoy, and you’ll find happiness as a by-product. But then again, you may not be philosophically minded….)

      
The point is not, as we often fear, that when we do something we like it will make us less moral. “How good is that guy—he actually likes serving at the homeless center!” Actually, what we truly love helps us to turn our eyes off ourselves and toward the activity. In fact, that’s the beginning of right actions. In other words, don’t stay selfish as an end, but learn to follow what you truly enjoy and follow it toward something outside of yourself. (And all this leads to mission, which I’ll arrive shortly.)

      
I’ve been unfolding this idea of “enlightened selfishness,” and I now arrive at the weird part: we often don’t know what we really desire. How many times do you hear someone saying, “I’m not sure I really know what I want”? 

We don’t always have the answers, but I believe the God who created us can help us find what we truly desire. That will be the content of a future post, but in the meantime, feel free to post your ideas.